Asking can be scary. See our article on how to overcome this. It can make you feel needy and vulnerable. This article will give you some tips on asking so that you will feel more confident.
Tip No 1. Believe that asking is the right thing to do
If you believe that asking is not the right thing to do then that will make you fearful. In a previous article I shared 5 Reasons why asking people to freely give their time to be involved in your son or daughter’s life is a good idea. Read through them to counteract any beliefs you may have that what you are about to do isn’t right.
Tip No 2. Know why you are asking
Your reason for asking needs to be more than just “because I want to set up a circle.” Circles are just a means to an end. What is it that you would like to achieve for your son and daughter through a circle? Do you want to help them to make some big decisions about their life? Help them find a job? Help them make friends? Some other reason? If you want to ask someone to come on a trip with you, they will want to know where you are going in order for them to be able to make a decision whether to join you or not.
Tip No 3. Who will you ask?
This can also be a tricky thing to work out. A good way to start is to write down all the places your family members go during a typical week and then make a list of the people you each know in those environments. If you don’t know them very well, spend a few weeks just chatting to them to get to know them. Find out what their interests are, what they do for a living and about their family life. Let them do all the talking.
Next, think about the kind of people you would like in your circle – people with similar interests to your son or daughter, people who have useful skills eg social networking, business, teaching etc, people who are fun and friendly and so on. Then from your list choose who you could ask. Remember that we are all busy. Often the busiest people are the best to ask as they like to get involved in life.